


Memories

by istanraven



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sad Bellamy, callbacks to past seasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 02:38:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19190242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/istanraven/pseuds/istanraven
Summary: Josephine starts to see Clarke's memories the harder she fights her way back. She decides to use them to her advantage, breaking Bellamy more than Clarke’s death already had.





	Memories

“You know, I can see everything, her memories at least.” She murmured thoughtfully. The speaking in the room ceased to nothing and she felt herself smile slightly as she realized she’d gotten their attention. 

She winced as she tried to move her hand but felt immediate pain, her wrists had been reduced to red burns brought on by her constant frantic movements at trying to escape the cuffs she’d been put into. She looked up from her spot on the chair, her hair slightly covering her face as she looked across everyone in the room. 

She’d woken up in her little trap a few minutes before never remembering how’d she’d gotten there or how they managed to get into her room without anyone noticing. Bellamy’s was the first face she saw, she could still see the red around his eyes, the utter pain burning inside of them. She found it odd that out of everyone, Clarke’s death affected him the most, she might even think he’d loved her, and yet there was the other girl, Echo. 

She winced again, squinting her eyes shut as she felt the constant fighting that Clarke had been doing for the past few days. Josephine was stronger though, Clarke would never come back, this was her body now and she was going to fight for it. She didn’t realize that once her host had started making herself more aware, Josephine started to see memories flashing through her mind like a small movie, faces she didn’t recognize, emotions so powerful she had to take moments to let herself calm down. Clarke felt so much, that’s what made this difficult. It wasn’t just simple sadness, it was undeniable anguish. It wasn’t just happiness, but pure joy, something Josephine quickly noticed was all too rare in her life. 

She quickly opened her eyes as she heard footsteps come closer to her. Looking up she immediately locked eyes with Bellamy, his brows drawn together as he looked down at her with his arms crossed against his chest.

“They’re mostly about you.” she started slowly, “Her regret at leaving you behind, her pain watching you with a new family, one that didn’t include her.” she paused for a moment, “her love for you.”

He took a step back, more like a slight stumble as he continued to look down at her, his eyes beginning to widen. 

“Judging by the look on your face, you didn’t know.” She said, a smile making its way onto her face.

“I saw the way you looked at me before you knew who I was. It’s odd how I’ve never seen you look at your girlfriend like that. Isn’t she the woman you’re supposed to be in love with?” She questioned. She knew she couldn’t let this go, why not have a little fun while also finding a way to get herself out of the mess she was in. 

Bellamy’s mouth opened slightly as if he were to say something but Josephine quickly started speaking again. 

“But she isn’t, is she?” She murmured slowly, sparing a glance at a confused Echo standing next to the bar, her hand gripping the ledge harder than she should be. 

“Clarke never returned them, right? That’s why you settled with her.” She said, nodding her head in Echo’s direction. “She never returned that sentiment you so wholy tried to convey to her, it was always someone else that received what you so desperately desired.”

She watched the feelings, emotions pass across Bellamy’s face as if her were in turmoil. She had to press harder, a little more pressure and he would break. The moment she’d walked into her room and saw her chairs, her painting in shambles, she knew he was destructive and it was all because of the girl. He was unpredictable, he was desperate at getting his revenge, maybe this could be her way out, to make it him break more than he already was. 

“Despite the fact that you’ve sacrificed so much for her, despite everything you’ve done to protect her, to keep her alive, costing you dearly in the process, there was always someone else. There was Wells, even Finn, and let me think for a moment, Lexa right?”

“Stop.” He said firmly and Josephine swore she heard everyone in that room hold their breath for a moment at his sudden outburst. 

She didn’t stop.

“You only get angry because you know I’m right. This is how it’s been for years. You want to know how I know? I can see it, your lingering glances and hesitant touches in a bunker when you first all dropped down on your earth. I see your desperation at making sure Clarke was safe, brushing a hand across her face and smiling with the purest joy I’ve ever seen, you were at peace, as if by losing her it had disrupted something in yourself so deep it was ruining you completely. You continue to act so rash because you don’t care if you die do you? Because life’s not worth living without her.” She said, her eyes dropping back down to the floor beneath her, her heart beating quickly as she felt emotions passing through her, emotions she knew weren’t hers. 

“Please,” she heard above her and she lifted her head quickly, watching the tears slip from Bellamy’s eye before it fell onto his cheek. He sounded tired, dejected, like he was completely destroyed. She’d expected a fire from him, a complete explosion of emotions, but it was like what she was saying didn’t even surprise him, like he’d already heard all of this from his own thoughts. “Stop.”

Determined, she continued, desperately trying to push away the overflowing emotions from inside of her. 

“I can see you, tears rolling down your face as you tell Clarke you don’t want to feel angry anymore, because she left you behind, because she had found someone else, someone that wasn’t you. When you grasped onto her on that shore you held onto her like you never wanted to let go because you didn’t because you knew she would never be yours and yet you kept that hope that one day she’d see you.”

Bellamy was silent but she could see the shaking of his hand, the quick rise and fall of his chest, the absolute heart wrenching pain in his eyes. Josephine knew what she was saying was true then, and for a moment she let herself feel for him, he’d been in love with this woman for years and when he got close to having her, she was ripped out of his fingers. But she died so Josephine could live, and she wouldn’t give that up. 

“She never did see you, at least until you learned that Clarke had called you on that radio for six years while you thought she was dead. Then again when Clarke made her little confession, telling you that you were her family, that you were important to her. It struck you just as much as it did when she told you she needed you all those years ago. I can see your eyes that utmost hope and joy, you letting yourself feel like maybe, just maybe you could hold onto her in that moment, your arms wrapped around her and you didn’t have to let her go again.” 

Josephine took in a breath, her eyes scanning across the room for a moment. Raven and Emori stood against the bar, their arms crossed and their eyes looking straight towards Bellamy. In fact, everyone was looking at the man standing in front of her, a knowing look each of their eyes. 

They knew. 

Her eyes quickly flew back up to Bellamy, the man standing in front of her, the man she was breaking all over again. 

“But then you did have to let her go, but not in the way you thought. You left her to die alone on your earth, and you left her to die alone here.”

That’s when he snapped.

He dropped down to her level, gripping onto the front of her jacket, his knuckles white, but she smiled. She knew Bellamy couldn’t hurt her, as long as she looked like Clarke. “Shut up.” He said loudly, his voice echoing across the room. 

“It’s because of you that she’s dead, because you didn’t have the strength to save her either time. Now you’re never getting her back.” She seethed. His grip stayed strong on the front of her jacket, but she watched the weakness flicker across his face as the tears fell. 

“I know I can’t get her back, but I can stop you from taking more innocent lives to fulfill your need for immortality.” He spat, anger flowing through his words. Just as quickly as he grabbed her, her let her go before standing up and taking a step back. “You and your people will not take anymore people for your sick desire, I’m going to end this. Even if it kills me.”

She felt a chill run down her spine as she stared up at him, her chest tightening as she watched the determination written on his face, behind it was aching pain and anguish, something she knew would fuel him. She’d been trying to wake him up, to break him so she’d have the power. But his pain had only made him stronger, she’d turned him into the one person that was going to destroy all of them. 

Suddenly he turned walking straight out the door, Echo quickly following after him but he stopped her, his hand held out and she took a step back, confusion flashing across her face.

“This was fun and all, but it’d be great if you guys would take off these chains.” She said, a smile lining her lips. 

Barely anyone spared her another glance, they’d all began retreating upstairs, a heavy weight on each of their shoulders. The only one remaining was John who took a seat against the bar, his eyes trained on her.

She rolled her eyes before her gaze flickered out to the front of the building noticing the figure sitting on the bench, his head of curls bent down as she watched his frame shake with uncontrolled cries. She winced as she felt an overwhelming sense of anguish, desperation and she quickly closed her eyes, the foreign emotions becoming too strong as she gripping onto the sides of the chair. 

Clarke felt too much, she thought. 

But she wasn’t going to let her win. At least that’s what she continued to tell herself before she felt another wave of pain. She opened her eyes again, expecting to see Bellamy outside but froze when she didn’t recognize her surroundings. 

There were drawings on the white walls, hundreds. She immediately recognized Bellamy but he appeared youngers, years younger without the beard. There were other people as well, and she immediately recognized these as memories, like these pictures all connected to a certain moment, a certain moment in Clarke’s life. 

“Who the hell are you?” She heard a voice say behind her loudly.

She immediately recognized the voice, the voice she’d heard from her own mouth for the past few days of her new life. 

“Josephine Lightbourne,” she said, a smile growing on her face before she turned around slowly, spotting the familiar blonde standing in front of her. “But you already knew that didn’t you, Clarke?”

**Author's Note:**

> part two?


End file.
